| Dad, Can I Have A Drum Kit Please? |
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Alan Fairbrother examines some of the push-pull politics that can face amateur musicians and their kids.  any self respecting father would do. I walk away.It’s perfectly understandable to adults at least that parents want to help their children to take advantage of opportunities that they themselves missed and help them avoid making similar mistakes. In one key area I’m proud to think I’ve had success. I’m a keen amateur musician. I play both piano and guitar enthusiastically although I started learning the former very late in life, only four years ago in fact. Not learning as a child is something I’ve always regretted and I promised myself I wouldn’t let my kids miss out in the same way if I could help it. To this end, when my son James was born 14 years ago and was followed 3 years later by his sister Jane I embarked on a strategy designed to entice and ensnare them into the wonderful world of making music. There was just one proviso. That they did so voluntarily. If they really hated it I wouldn’t force them. I’m not entirely against force. On occasion it’s a most valuable technique for dealing with children, like the time I forced James, in record breaking time, back into the toddler seat on a supermarket trolley in Sainsbury’s after he had sat on 25 kilos of seedless grapes. If making music is going to make you unhappy, well then, what’s the point in that? The biggest weapon in my arsenal was my piano. I played nursery rhymes and encouraged both children to play on it when ever they wanted. My Grandmother had a boudoir grand at home which as kids we were forbidden to touch. She didn’t really play much at that stage of her life consequently the thing sat there wasted. What nonsense! I vowed I would never stop my children from playing. Looking back I probably could have introduced a couple of rules that would have made for a better quality of life, such as, no playing in the morning before daylight and a more frugal approach to the sustain/loud pedal. A second ploy was to encourage the children to choose between them the music we would play whenever we all went out in the car. Once I had disentangled them back on to their own respective sides of the back seat, and dried Jane’s eyes, they would settle down and sing their hearts out. For eight long months my dreams featured a never ending looped accompaniment of The Beatles song ‘Yellow Submarine’ Thankfully it all had the desired effect. Today, James is studying for his grade 6 piano and has grade 3 saxophone. He plays the latter in the School orchestra. Jane is taking her Grade 2 piano and is taking up the flute when she goes to High School in the autumn. There are now three amateur musicians in my family and in addition to my guitar and piano, there’s an electric piano, a sax a tambourine, an eight track portable recording studio, a CD player, two ipods with docking station and two mp3 players. There is not silent moment to be found anywhere in the house save for the middle of the night. Yes, but are they grateful? That’s a very good question indeed. Certainly my son enjoys the benefits being a young pianist brings. How impressed adults are when he plays and the attention they afford him. Jane is still a little young to appreciate her ability fully and both children resent my constant badgering to practice. They do their best to use it as a negotiating tool. “If I do my practice can I have a piece of cake?” We’ve had more than one row about it! James has also been quick to realise that having a Dad so excited about music means I very rarely say no to any serious music related request. He put this to the ultimate test last November when he announced he wanted a full size acoustic drum kit for Christmas. I knew he was serious because I had been watching him play ‘air drums’ along to Keane and Kasabian all summer. When I drove him to school the car would gently rock at traffic lights so frantic was his arm waving. In spite of obvious concerns about the noise and the space I was secretly absolutely delighted. I fancied having a go myself as much as anything and so, on the big day, a shiny black Premier 5 piece became the latest addition to our household and made itself right at home. Coincidently, I’ve yet to speak with my neighbours this year, I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about. Finally, the icing on the (Christmas) cake came early in the New Year. Something happened that was very, very special to me. The kids and I actually played together and made music as a band. I played the piano, James played his skins and Jane sang. And even though I genuinely believe people would rather have their teeth drilled before listening to us it was a defining moment. A moment so magical it made everyone of those challenges you face and every battle you fight when you raise kids absolutely worth it. I will treasure it always. Alan Fairbrother January 2007 |
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